Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
