this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
