let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I need water and some morals
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
