Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
