i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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