he shaved USA in his pubs
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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