I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize