i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
