I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize