HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
