"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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