your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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