hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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