If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
