College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize