So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
