watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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