ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
