my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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