she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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