We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
