The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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