but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
