im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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