And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
