I need help removing her.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
