The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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