sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
