help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
