hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
