Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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