It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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