So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize