yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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