You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I could fuck to npr.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize