I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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