I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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