We're facebook friends in real life
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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