What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
