I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Vodka?
Forever.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Randomize
