guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
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When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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