Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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