This girl is more easily done than said...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize