I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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