Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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