We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The feeling are messing with the penis
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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