I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
