She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
