from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize