I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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