i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
