also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
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you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize