So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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