on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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