i permit you to call me
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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