thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
