everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
