Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Randomize
