i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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