I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
