Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
