i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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